Here is to Good Women – May we be them, may we raise them, may we know them

In a business situation or in life, it is a rarity to hear a woman pay another woman a wholehearted compliment. In the circle I associate myself in, women compliment each other often, but that is no accident. Intentionally I have surrounded myself with confident and positive people, and will not break that rule. It almost seems inherent that women look at another woman and bring out their mental check list: Clothes too tight, check! Too much make-up, check! Dumb as a rock, check! Too chunky, too skinny…check! It is an insecurity within yourself that makes you tear down another woman. It is an intentional decision to knock it off, and it is one you should make today, right now.
Its become more apparent to me in recent years that it is women that hold women back. Men are the biggest women advocates I know. They generally love us, enjoy being around us, are ready to lend a hand, compliment us without being over the top and acknowledge our strengths. Women on the other hand are there with their finger on the trigger ready to tear down one another at the first opportunity. Do you know what it means to a woman when another woman pays her a compliment? Nothing feels more pure, more real. Too many women allow themselves to feel insecure and not good enough. It is our duty as humans to lift each other up when one is down. Paying a compliment to another women or a man is not only good for them, it is great for you as well.
The truth is that women have it hard enough. We have evolved (for lack of a better word) into feeling like we have to be a financial provider, Wife, Mother, fashion diva, problem solver of all issues, gym bunny, chef, saint, and even teacher. We are the first ones to tear ourselves down, so why do we actively do it to each other?
Now this column shouldn’t be all about men or women, but it should be about being your groups biggest advocate, and “bigging up”, complimenting and supporting those around you and not knocking them down. Maybe it’s a British or even a Scottish thing? After all, we are used to defeat – whether football, rugby, tennis…. The list could go on. So have we become a nation of not complimenting, pushing and encouraging others – to ignore petty jealousies and actually rejoice in others success and accomplishments?
There are many more than 10 But Here is a list of my 10 reasons why women should compliment other women:
1. Because you are confident – It reinforces that you are confident enough to understand that complimenting another woman will raise her higher than she was, and in turn, it will strengthen you.
2. Giving a compliment is a positive action that has lasting affects – Think about a time when someone paid you a compliment. Not about your appearance, but about your mind, your strength, your kindness… That is how you can make somebody else feel.
3. Complimenting breaks the cycle – Women complain about unfair treatment but it is us that keeps this type of treatment alive. Bringing another woman up is good for both women and men. (Men can finally stop hearing us bitch all the time).
4. Be a leader – When a woman compliments another woman, she is leading the way to unity. Showing that it takes a much stronger woman to compliment another than to put one down.
5. Choose to be positive – You cannot live a positive life and simultaneously tear apart another person. In order to live a positive life, you have to think, speak, and act in a positive manner. Spreading positive vibes through the form of a compliment is amazingly contagious.
6. Create a domino effect – When you compliment a woman, she will feel so wonderful that she in turn will want to share that feeling with other women. She gives somebody a compliment, so on and so forth…
7. This is your chance – This is your chance to make another woman smile, feel special, be acknowledged… You will have multiple chances daily to do this, don’t take one of them for granted.
8. They deserve it – When you notice a woman doing something fantastic, spit out a compliment. This of course goes for men too. So many people hold back compliments and it becomes a wasted opportunity of being kind. Don’t hold back, give the compliment and mean it!
9. Be a role model – Show the young girls that women compliment each other, they never tear each other down. Our strengths are greater when we are unified, not competing. It shows them that just because somebody is prettier, smarter, funnier, more popular…does not mean that you are less than she. It means you have other super qualities and neither should be punished with criticism because of it.
10. She needs it – Anybody that says they do not care about compliments is full of it. It does not make or break us, however, it does feel amazing. Like it or not, we are feelings type of creatures and good feelings rule! Women especially need to be complimented by other women. Men throw compliments all the time, which is fantastic but far different from getting one from your sisterhood.
A compliment does not need to be a keynote speech. Don’t over think it, just give it, mean it, and graciously receive it when given to you! We have enough to deal with without having to worry about being torn down by other women. The power of a sisterhood is phenomenally strong, it should never be taken for granted, and it should be all inclusive.